Why I’m a Terrible Employee but an Outstanding Contractor?
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not cut out to be an employee. I’ve tried it. I really have. But being stuck in a 9-to-5 grind, getting underpaid, and sitting through meetings where someone reinvents the wheel every week? Not for me. As a contractor, though? I thrive. I shine. I crush it.
Here’s the full (and slightly cheeky) breakdown.
From School Dropout to Team Leader – A 50-Dollar Raise Later
We’ve all seen them: those 25-year-old prodigies who miraculously climb the corporate ladder overnight. No degree, no real skills – but a PhD in kissing up. A few well-timed “That’s a brilliant idea, Mr. Boss!” moments, a couple of coffee runs, and voilà – Team Leader. Their reward? A shiny new title and an extra $50 per month (before taxes).
Then they show up in every meeting, so excited to unveil the same tired “innovations”:
- “Let’s have a brainstorming workshop!”
- “We need more Excel spreadsheets!”
- “Have you tried using ChatGPT for everything?”
Meanwhile, I’m sitting there thinking, The wheel works fine. Let’s just make it roll better.
It turns out, that attitude doesn’t make me a great employee. But as a contractor? It’s my superpower.
I Set My Own Terms – But I Work Harder Than Ever
Let’s be real: contracting is no picnic. Sure, I get to set my rates, pick my projects, and decide how I spend my time. But freedom comes with a price: I work harder than I ever did as an employee.
While my former coworkers clock out at 5 p.m. to binge-watch the latest Netflix series, I’m still hustling. Here’s a glimpse into the glamorous life of a contractor:
- Taxes: I now understand why accountants are always busy—and always stressed.
- Social Security: Did you know there are roughly 37 different ways the government takes your money? Neither did I.
- Client Acquisition: Translation: sending just the right LinkedIn message to people who probably won't reply.
- Late Payments: Chasing down clients who “accidentally” forgot to pay feels like starring in my own Western movie.
Is it exhausting? Yes. Do I love it? Absolutely.
Freedom Is Worth the Hustle
Here’s the thing: even with all the chaos, I’d never trade this life. Because now, I’m in control.
I choose who I work with, how much I earn, and when I work. If I decide to grind for 12 hours straight, that’s my call. If I want to take a random Tuesday off? I don’t need anyone’s permission.
And let’s not forget the best part: no more “team-building” exercises or awkward small talk about last night’s football game.
The Bottom Line
I’ll admit it: I’m a terrible employee. I don’t play the corporate game, I hate pointless rules, and I’d rather solve real problems than sit through another meeting about nothing.
But as a contractor? I’m unstoppable.
So to my former employers: thank you for teaching me what I don’t want. And if you ever need an external consultant, feel free to reach out.
Let me know when you're ready to stop reinventing the wheel. I’ve got some fresh ideas—and they actually work. 😉
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